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Happy birthday babygirl 

I cannot believe she is a year old!! It’s also hard to believe I could love her more than I did the day she was born and more beautiful with each new day!! 

  

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First Birthday Pressures

My daughter turns 1 next week! hold on….WHAT? Even typing that sentence seems so bizarre to me. I flash back to dreaming of having a child one day; to thinking it would never happen to me; to finding out I was pregnant; to delivering her….Now it’s her first birthday! I simply can’t understand how fast time seems to fly by. We all have 24 hours a day so how can 24 hours sometimes feel like 24 seconds. I’m experiencing a flood of constant emotions that I feel daily. I’m sure I’m alone with any of the feelings going into her first birthday!

One thing I am struggling with is her actual birthday party that I have scheduled for next Saturday. I’m already finding myself frustrated with various things; and people. I’m nervous that it will be a complete disaster. Even the weather shows that it could rain EVERY DAY next week? Why????

I feel an enormous amount of pressure to make it look like an effortless event. Thank you pinterest and over achieving moms! Why do I put this kind of pressure on myself? My husband could care less what we do (not that he doesn’t care about her or her birthday but he doesn’t care about decorations, etc). Since my husband doesn’t really care about the theme, decorations, etc… he doesn’t give much input into the whole thing. That’s frustrating to me. I don’t know if it’s partly because my mom always threw great parties (nothing extravagant; just good parties with family mostly) and so I feel like I have to match those? She keeps asking me what I have planned so far. “um, nothing yet.” her reply… “you better start deciding”… yes mother I get that [flash forward to me telling my daughter the same thing…. that’s scary… I am my mother I know].

I was going to create this great theme with coordinating food and decorations…. but she’s turning 1! She’ll never remember this party. Does this thought make me a bad mother. Should I be going overboard with this birthday because it IS her first one, She’ll never have a first birthday again? UGH the struggle is real. I think I would rather use that money for future parties where she can actually truly participate in the fun. Therefore I have decided to just do a color theme and keep things on the simple side. That just worries me that it’ll be cheap looking or look half ass.

I never thought planning a birthday party would be so difficult. Guess I better stop talking about what I think I want to do or should do or could do…. and actually get stuff together! Wish me luck!

p.s. I wonder how many tears I will shed thinking that she is turning ONE!

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Happy Mother’s Day 

Yesterday was my first mothers day since my daughter was born.  I found it to be a very emotional day.

I’m so blessed to celebrate my first mothers day with my daughter. I don’t see this as a day for me but for her and I! Becoming a mother has been everything I expected and so much more. My heart is so full with love and I have found this peace and completeness in my soul that I wasn’t expecting. Before I had her the thought of dying meant that everything stopped there; my story is over. After having her, I don’t feel that way. She carries on my story and will continue on long after I’m gone. There is something very comforting in that. At the same time, having a child has made me realize how precious life is and that I hope to not miss a minute of her growing up. By becoming a mother I’ve discovered fears I didn’t know I had and a love that I just didn’t know existed. My lifetime simply isn’t enough to fully express what Carolina means to me. I love being able to spend all my days with her.

Becoming a mother also gives me a greater appreciation for my own mother and I thank her immensely for everything she had taught me. I have a great role model for motherhood.

I’ve mentioned before that being a mom is a lot of guess work and thinking on your toes… I may not always know the right thing to do but everyday I get up and try to be the best mom I can be and create memories that will last her and I a lifetime.

I spent the day with my daughter and I couldn’t imagine doing anything different. She makes every day so much fun. We didn’t do much but we spent the day as a family; which in the big scheme of things is the best gift/present I could get.

My husband took me to lunch and to get sushi of all things so I was very excited about that! I gorged myself on sushi and left ready for a nap; which all of us did! 🙂

While we were at lunch I could tell others were there celebrating mothers day as well. It hit me at that moment, that I was part of this ‘club’; the club of mothers. Yes, I have celebrated mothers day with my mom every year that I can remember…but this was the first time I got to experience it as a mother myself. In years past, especially after getting married and wanting a baby for so long, mothers day was more of a reminder that I wasn’t a mother. Selfishly it felt like a slap in the face in a way. That isn’t to say that I didn’t appreciate showing my mother some extra love and attention on mothers day, but if you have ever been in the position of wanting a child for so long and not thinking it was going to happen for you, holidays are hard. Especially holidays like mothers day, fathers day, etc.

Finally, I got my blessing and she is everything I prayed for. I think about her and I could cry such happy tears. I have thanked God every day since I found out I was pregnant and every day since she was born for her.

Her smile is everything! Her whole life lights up; and I hope she never loses that!

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To all the mothers, mothers to be, step moms, dads who play the moms role as well, everyone that cares for a child, I hope you had a great mothers day!

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believing hard work will pay off-May 2015 update

So I have been working on getting healthier… losing weight for about 6 months now; and seriously for about 2. I am trying to do things a little differently in order to hold myself accountable.

1. I’ve been using instagram as a tool to follow fitness pages and individuals which has really helped keep me motivated on days that are a little hectic, tiring, etc. I’ve also been posting on there my workouts that I’ve been doing. I’ve received a lot of feedback in terms of likes to my posts so that is also motivating.  If you are on instagram feel free to follow me @tnm_514

2. I’m also using myfitnesspal to track what I’ve been eating (my account is set to private as I don’t use it to follow or connect with anyone… it’s just for me). I’ve been following a more flexible dieting approach and using IIFYM. I love the research behind it and the fact that I’m not limited to certain foods or restricted from others. I am eating healthier options but it’s important to still track the amount. I won’t go into my macros specifically but I determined my macros by doing a lot of research and through trial and error. I’m not an expert in the area and I’ll never claim to be but I am feeling some results.

3. I am also starting to take progress photos in addition to taking measurements. This is something I’ve never done before when trying to make changes because honestly I’ve always found it more discouraging than helpful. But this time around I do want to see when I start seeing changes in my photos. Especially now having my daughter I want to feel comfortable in photographs with her so maybe if I get used to seeing myself in photos I will feel more comfortable taking some with her.

4. Lastly, I’m gonna start incorporating more of this aspect of my life in my blog. I hope it is helpful to me to get some of my thoughts, accomplishments, set backs and frustrations out and work things out through my writing.

On Thursday morning I weighed myself and I was down 1.6 lbs in about 9 days. I was ecstatic about that movement; mainly because I had been hitting my macros and really working out with some good sessions. I decided to take my measurements that day as well since I was on a high from losing over a lb. Unfortunately, didn’t see a whole lot of movement in the measurements. One thing about me is that I’m very results oriented. I have to see some kind of result in order to stay motivated; so I’m glad I saw the change in my weight, but I would have liked to see in my measurements as well. You know have my cake and eat it too (probably not a good analogy when talking about weight loss, because now I’m craving something sweet).

I am starting to notice my clothes are feeling different on me so I’m very happy about that. Overall, from April to May I feel stronger. I know Rome wasn’t built in a day so I’m believe in the process and hoping that in the upcoming months (especially with summer around the corner) I start seeing the results as well as feeling them.

My workouts are getting more intense and I’ll add some of my favorites some time in case there is anyone reading this who is in a similar situation. I’m very tradition when I work out. I like running or doing some sprint HIIT for my cardio and I like lifting weights. I’m not a big fan of doing a lot of plyometrics, mainly because I’m not comfortable doing them right now. I incorporate some from time to time and I don’t despise them anymore so maybe one day my preferences will change. I’m working on a 4 day split for weight training (day1: legs; day2: back/bi day3: shoulders/abs day4: chest/tri) there are times on days 1,2,4 that I will also train some abs as well. I’m also consistently doing cardio 3x’s a week. I’m so glad that it is nice outside because my daughter and I can go running in the morning and then I can go to the gym after she goes to bed at night. It’s been working out well for the last couple weeks. Key now is to stick with it.

My gym time is the most challenging because I have to work it around my husbands schedule and his schedule hasn’t been the same in over 2 years. So I just have to plan to go and then make up for it later if I can’t make it that night. I’m getting better about doing at home workouts if I can’t make it to the gym.

I’m hoping that for my June update that I see at least 2-3 lbs gone and 1-2 inches from my chest, waist, and hips.

I’m really big on reading quotes and if you google workout quotes there is a plethora of motivation quotes. These two stand out to me right now!

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If you decide to stay up to date on my progress then I look forward to updating everyone on 31 days! Train hard!