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Our Favorite Christmas Holiday to Date!

Another Christmas is in the books and it was one to remember for sure. This was the first Christmas where Carolina recognized Santa and began to understand more and more about the holiday! She loved seeing my parents and having daddy home so much for the holiday! Lots of people to play with!

Everything was Elsa and Anna! Her favorite gifts were the Frozen snow globe my parents got her that sings ‘Let It Go’ (loudly may I add) I think we’ve heard it at least a million times already. Fortunately, I have found that if I tell her something needs to charge then her world doesn’t end when we don’t play with/use it for a while. Her other favorite gift was her Elsa barbie doll. It was the last gift I picked up for her because I figured she has all the other Princess barbie dolls she just needed the Elsa one too. Of course she keeps looking for Anna; (should have known that was important since they are always together). Every time she plays with the doll or snow globe she has to watch Frozen, or what she calls ‘Let It Go’. She got some great things this year, more of ‘big girl’ toys. She got a Minnie Mouse kitchen with accessories, a Nursery station so she can take care of her baby while mommy takes care of her sister in a few months. She also got an art table that has a white board and table to color on with storage. She has already used it many times. Her other gifts included play doh, coloring books, clothes, books, and smaller tinker type toys.

I also had a pretty good Christmas as well. I got a pregnancy massage that I can’t wait to use. A lot of kitchen accessories, which I LOVE!

It’s always sad when Christmas is over and this year is especially bittersweet because it will be the last Christmas with it being just the three of us! I can’t wait to bring home her sister and be a family of four but part of me is a little sad that Carolina will have to share/split the attention with her sister from now on. As sad as I am about the holiday season being over I have been a little distracted because Carolina came down with a fever Saturday night and some congestion. She’s a trooper and it didn’t seem to damper her Christmas. Took her to the dr yesterday and she has a left ear infection as well as a respiratory virus (that seems like everyone has right now). I feel like I’m counting down the minutes until I come down with it next. Fortunately, the dr gave her some medicine so I’m hoping in a day or two she’ll start to feel better.

As 2016 comes to a close I feel blessed that my family has been able to have more highs than lows and that we are all very excited to see what 2017 has in store (particularly in April when our second daughter is due to make her arrival)!

 

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Christmas and baby talk

Toddler down for a nap (down but not asleep…yet), Face mask on my face (let’s hope it makes my skin radiant as the package claims),  & flashback music from the 90s on the tv…. let’s hope I have a chance to write down what has been going on lately. It hasn’t been almost a year since my last post so I’m at least improving. There is a glimmer of hope that I keep up with writing about my family and about my journey through motherhood.

I honestly can’t believe Christmas is next Sunday!?!? Where did 2016 go? I’m not ready for 2017 to come and go so quickly. I simply love the season after Halloween until New Years; I look forward to it every year. I don’t know why exactly why I cherish this time but I would bet that it is because of all the traditions I remember from my childhood (that I truly don’t think I always appreciated at the time) and beginning new traditions as well as carrying on those old traditions with my little family that is growing! I don’t know why it seems we save all our big traditions for this time of year instead of spreading some out throughout the year but maybe as our kids get older there will be other traditions throughout the year to look forward to. I would also say that the decorations for fall and Christmas is my absolute favorite too… the smells, the colors, just everything!

After New Years I usually go through a little bit of a funk that it’s all over and it is back to normal everyday life. Fortunately, this year we have something to keep up excited throughout 2017; welcoming our new baby girl! That’s right, we are having another girl! I couldn’t be more excited about it! I, as with pretty much everyone we knew, figured we were having a boy! Another girl just feels right! It also makes things a tad bit easier getting ready for her arrival. I saved so much of Carolina’s clothes, toys, blankets, accessories, etc… that can all just go to our new bundle of joy!

I will be 24 weeks next week and this pregnancy just seems to be flying by and for the most part I feel great! So different than my last pregnancy when I was nauseous 24/7 and was really exhausted. I think keeping up with going to the gym, eating at home, and not working has really made a difference. The main thing I suffer from is what seems to be a gag reflex to smells; which I didn’t have with Carolina, and I have a little bit more heartburn earlier this time around. This baby girl isn’t breach like Carolina was so I am feeling more kicks and tossing/turning around. That is a fun part but sometimes can almost take my breath away with how much she moves. Looks like I’ll have two active girls in the near future. That should help me keep in shape a bit!

I still worry about Carolina adjusting to having a sibling, especially a sister. She is very attached to me so I hope she adjusts somewhat quickly and doesn’t feel like she will get less of my attention or love. I wanted a sister growing up so it’ll be so fun watching them grow up together; the bond they will have, the fights, etc. I hope they will remain lifelong best friends.

April can’t get here soon enough! I’m ready to meet her!

Well I hope I’m ready for the challenge ahead of me!

 

 

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Where did I go?…. excuses & announcements!

Holy smokes! What a year it has been since my last post. It’s hard to believe it’s basically been that long.

So much has happened and changed since I last wrote anything I don’t know if I can update on everything or just start over and go from there.

I’ll try to give the cliff notes version of what has happened and updates on past year.Basically why I mainly disappeared is that both of our laptops took a crap about a week apart from each other. I tried using our iPad and iPhone but typing like that was just unbelievably difficult for me to do (I know the whole world uses them but I’m still an old-fashioned Windows kind of girl), I prefer typing on a keyboard. The other reason for not keeping up with things is because well my daughter keeps me busy and I got lazy (the MAIN reason). 1 nap a day is sometimes not enough time for me to take mommy time.

Who would have guess fixing 1 of our laptops was as easy as exchanging the batteries since one of them was junk. I, embarrassingly, thought about exchanging the batteries today for the first time…why are the simplest tasks somehow take the longest to complete or think of.

Anyways, here I am. I hope to do a better job finishing up 2016 into 2017 with writing more. I enjoy it. Even though I don’t think I have that much talent when writing or organizing my thoughts. I find my mind just bouncing around thoughts and ideas; my posts may be hard to follow or not flow from one to another.

Family Update #1: My Daughter

My last post I mentioned my daughter was around 12 months old and entering the ‘terrible two’ stage. Well,now she is almost 2 1/2 and even more sassy; except now she can use her words more which I’m not sure is better or worse than just fussing. I still try to pick my battles but I feel like she picks a battle with me about EVERYTHING! Mothers should be able to get an injection of patience because I need TONS more than what I have currently. She’s outspoken, full of energy, thinks she is so independent regarding everything…. and she’s absolutely beautiful and I couldn’t possibly love anyone more than I do her.

I wish I would have kept up with writing over the past year because she has grown so much and as I’m writing this I find myself disappointed that I let that time slip by without jotting down my thoughts and memories. Her 2nd birthday was such a great day; she LOVED her Minnie party. We took so many trips to our local zoo where she was able to do more and more with each visit. All the family visits we had… I wish I would have written about those to look back on later. Maybe I can write future posts allowing myself to reminisce about those events.

Family Update #2: We’re growing!

As much as I hope to do a better job with writing in 2017 I’m not sure I’ll be so great at it as we found out in late July that we are expecting our 2nd baby! We are beyond thrilled (and slightly terrified) about the news!

I think my husband and I figured it would take years to add to our family as it took 3+ years to have our daughter, but I guess once your body knows how to do it it’s a little more prepared! ha. We are due early April.

This pregnancy I think will FLY by as I’m already into my second trimester and sometimes I even have to remind myself I’m pregnant because this pregnancy is sooo different from my last. Morning sickness (which consisted of just nausea) only lasted a couple of weeks. Fatigue is a real thing but I think that is probably more from having a very active toddler and no coffee (I miss my coffee in the mornings and I look forward to a venti iced americano as soon as I can get one).

The only drawback so far is that I’ve been battling a cold (stuffy nose, clogged ears, frustrating cough) for almost 2 months now with little relief. I don’t know what it feels like to breath out of my nose it’s been so long. If anyone who may be reading this I’m open to anything that may help with it… I’m so over it!

I’m sure many of my upcoming posts will be about our upcoming arrival and how we are planning for him/her.

Health & Fitness Update:

I am still trying to make it to the gym as much as possible. I was going 5-6 days a week prior to getting pregnant but have backed down to 3-4 days a week. Being sick hasn’t helped and the morning sickness stopped me for a while. My focus this pregnancy is to go regularly as I just stopped going during my last pregnancy. My daughter actually goes to the kids room and enjoys it most days so that helps a lot with staying on a regular schedule.

With being pregnant I’m not trying to lose weight, max out new 1RM; but I’m focusing on maintaining the lifestyle and stay healthy throughout pregnancy so that hopefully after the baby is born it won’t be a hard transition back into like it was last time.

My workouts these days last about 45 minutes and I typically burn 250-400 calories per session. In comparison, before pregnancy my workouts took about an hour or so and was burning minimum of 500 calories per session.

Once I can get back to the more intense workouts I will work back to my old 1RM with my bench (150#), squat(235#), and deadlift(225#). Looking forward to getting back.

I think all of the above updates on all the major aspects of what has been going on. I hope to dedicate at least 1 day a week to take the time to write and get back on track with things that I’ve been wanting to do/write.

 

 

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First Birthday Pressures

My daughter turns 1 next week! hold on….WHAT? Even typing that sentence seems so bizarre to me. I flash back to dreaming of having a child one day; to thinking it would never happen to me; to finding out I was pregnant; to delivering her….Now it’s her first birthday! I simply can’t understand how fast time seems to fly by. We all have 24 hours a day so how can 24 hours sometimes feel like 24 seconds. I’m experiencing a flood of constant emotions that I feel daily. I’m sure I’m alone with any of the feelings going into her first birthday!

One thing I am struggling with is her actual birthday party that I have scheduled for next Saturday. I’m already finding myself frustrated with various things; and people. I’m nervous that it will be a complete disaster. Even the weather shows that it could rain EVERY DAY next week? Why????

I feel an enormous amount of pressure to make it look like an effortless event. Thank you pinterest and over achieving moms! Why do I put this kind of pressure on myself? My husband could care less what we do (not that he doesn’t care about her or her birthday but he doesn’t care about decorations, etc). Since my husband doesn’t really care about the theme, decorations, etc… he doesn’t give much input into the whole thing. That’s frustrating to me. I don’t know if it’s partly because my mom always threw great parties (nothing extravagant; just good parties with family mostly) and so I feel like I have to match those? She keeps asking me what I have planned so far. “um, nothing yet.” her reply… “you better start deciding”… yes mother I get that [flash forward to me telling my daughter the same thing…. that’s scary… I am my mother I know].

I was going to create this great theme with coordinating food and decorations…. but she’s turning 1! She’ll never remember this party. Does this thought make me a bad mother. Should I be going overboard with this birthday because it IS her first one, She’ll never have a first birthday again? UGH the struggle is real. I think I would rather use that money for future parties where she can actually truly participate in the fun. Therefore I have decided to just do a color theme and keep things on the simple side. That just worries me that it’ll be cheap looking or look half ass.

I never thought planning a birthday party would be so difficult. Guess I better stop talking about what I think I want to do or should do or could do…. and actually get stuff together! Wish me luck!

p.s. I wonder how many tears I will shed thinking that she is turning ONE!

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I made a human…. WHAT?!?!

As I rocked my baby before I put her to bed something hit me like a ton of bricks. I made her! Every inch of her, every part of her being, I made her (with a little help from her daddy). I carried her inside of me. She never existed before and there will never be no one else like her. Even as I typed that last sentence it amazes me how true that is. How incredible is that? I certainly did something right! I’m so in love with her!

from our walk today!

I mean I knew I was pregnant and I know what happens when a female is pregnant; I’ve seen the movie ‘The Miracle of Life’ which was made in the early 80s. I think all I really took away from it was the ‘fashion’ (if you can call it that) the adults were wearing… oh my! You know you agree with this. I think during my whole pregnancy it was never real to me. I guess I thought I’d just go to the hospital the doctor would come in, I’d deliver, and from around the corner my baby would appear. You know the stork carries the baby to the hospital room. HA! Seriously though, it amazes me what the female body can do. What we are capable of. How beautiful. I kind of want to be pregnant again, and again, and again. Okay I’m not sure about 3 more times… but definitely again.

All of this made me think of a quote I’ve read probably a thousand times when I was pregnant; “No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you’re the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.” I remember thinking ‘aww, how cute’. It was just this sweet saying but I didn’t understand the full meaning until the days since she was born. Her and I have this bond that no one else can have, take, understand. How special. It truly is an honor that I got to be this little girls mom. I hope there is never a day that she questions my love for her. I hope I can set the foundation where she always feels at ease in communicating whatever life is throwing at her. I’m here for her. I’m not her friend.. (yet), I am her mother. We may not always agree and to be honest like each other but I’ll always have an ear to listen to her stories, a shoulder for her to cry on, and a hand to help her up if she ever falls. I will always love her.

no-one-else-will-ever-know-the-strength-of-my-love-for-youafter-allyoure-the-only-one-who-knows-what-my-heart-sounds-like-from-the-inside-kindness-quote

I have also noticed that when I get overwhelmed with emotions about my daughter, I always think about my mother and all she did for us. I wish there was a way I could have known then what I know now; I would have expressed my gratitude with her more back then. As many teenage daughters and mothers disagree; we had some rough years. I wish I could take those back. I now understand why my mom did what she did, said what she said. (Let’s not tell her that 🙂 but I get it…thanks mom).

There hasn’t been a day gone by that when I feel so much love and emotions for my own daughter that I also don’t feel such appreciation for my own mom. Her and I have the same bond my daughter and I have. You always hear about Fathers and Daughters… I say lets also make Mothers and Daughters worth talking about! 🙂 4734100_f520Amen!!

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Strength of mothers

As Carolina napped this morning I found myself watching 2 episodes of 16 and pregnant. Not a show I regularly watch but it was interesting. Since having a child of my own I have a new respect for teenage mothers. Being a mom is the hardest thing ever and to have high school to deal with and just being a kid themselves… I couldn’t imagine. I simply couldn’t imagine having a baby at 16 or better yet before I was married and had my husband here for support.

The first young girl on the show was having an extremely hard time adjusting to being a mom. Staying home all the time, no sleep, her friends off at college and missing out on what she thought she would be doing was taking a toll on her. I couldn’t imagine that struggle. I wanted to cry along with her. I remember loving being off at college and those memories; but I know the love she has for her child as well. I do hope this young girl learns how much being a mom is a privilege and the memories with and love for her child is unlike anything else in the world. In the long run being a mother will outweigh the feeling of not going to school when she thought she would.

The second young girl was faced with keeping her baby or putting baby up for adoption. Adoption was what her friends and family were pressuring her to do. She struggled immensely with this decision but ultimately decided to keep her child. Her mother made her move out and the baby’s father was a year younger than her and even less prepared for the responsibility. My heart goes out to her because I could tell she wants what is best for her daughter and she realized adoption would give her daughter a more stabile, ‘easier’ home but how does a mom give up her child. Oh I just couldn’t imagine the stress and pain she must have went through. I understand and agree that her family wants her to be responsible for child and that it’s the young girls’ responsibility to pay for baby, provide care, pay for daycare, finish school. Yikes I hope things turned out for the best. Again I just wanted to cry for this girls struggle.

Yes it is easy to say that the teenagers should have not gotten pregnant and should have acted differently but that won’t change the situations they are in. I could have easily been in their shoes and I never forgot that as I watched the show. My heart goes out to them and I hope they figure out a way, a plan, and get the support they need to do what’s best for their children and themselves.

I couldn’t help but also selfishly realize by watching this show how truly amazing, I mean AMAZING my life has turned out. I have done so much so far and I’m proud of what I have accomplished but becoming a mother has by far surpassed everything else I’ve done or experienced. And now having the opportunity to stay home and have this time with my child means everything to me. I know this isn’t an opportunity available to a lot of families so I am soo incredibly grateful to my husband.

I’m just reminded of a quote : “being a mother is not about what you have up to have a child but what you gained from having one”. It’s truly the most sacred of roles and privilege to be a mom.