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Where did I go?…. excuses & announcements!

Holy smokes! What a year it has been since my last post. It’s hard to believe it’s basically been that long.

So much has happened and changed since I last wrote anything I don’t know if I can update on everything or just start over and go from there.

I’ll try to give the cliff notes version of what has happened and updates on past year.Basically why I mainly disappeared is that both of our laptops took a crap about a week apart from each other. I tried using our iPad and iPhone but typing like that was just unbelievably difficult for me to do (I know the whole world uses them but I’m still an old-fashioned Windows kind of girl), I prefer typing on a keyboard. The other reason for not keeping up with things is because well my daughter keeps me busy and I got lazy (the MAIN reason). 1 nap a day is sometimes not enough time for me to take mommy time.

Who would have guess fixing 1 of our laptops was as easy as exchanging the batteries since one of them was junk. I, embarrassingly, thought about exchanging the batteries today for the first time…why are the simplest tasks somehow take the longest to complete or think of.

Anyways, here I am. I hope to do a better job finishing up 2016 into 2017 with writing more. I enjoy it. Even though I don’t think I have that much talent when writing or organizing my thoughts. I find my mind just bouncing around thoughts and ideas; my posts may be hard to follow or not flow from one to another.

Family Update #1: My Daughter

My last post I mentioned my daughter was around 12 months old and entering the ‘terrible two’ stage. Well,now she is almost 2 1/2 and even more sassy; except now she can use her words more which I’m not sure is better or worse than just fussing. I still try to pick my battles but I feel like she picks a battle with me about EVERYTHING! Mothers should be able to get an injection of patience because I need TONS more than what I have currently. She’s outspoken, full of energy, thinks she is so independent regarding everything…. and she’s absolutely beautiful and I couldn’t possibly love anyone more than I do her.

I wish I would have kept up with writing over the past year because she has grown so much and as I’m writing this I find myself disappointed that I let that time slip by without jotting down my thoughts and memories. Her 2nd birthday was such a great day; she LOVED her Minnie party. We took so many trips to our local zoo where she was able to do more and more with each visit. All the family visits we had… I wish I would have written about those to look back on later. Maybe I can write future posts allowing myself to reminisce about those events.

Family Update #2: We’re growing!

As much as I hope to do a better job with writing in 2017 I’m not sure I’ll be so great at it as we found out in late July that we are expecting our 2nd baby! We are beyond thrilled (and slightly terrified) about the news!

I think my husband and I figured it would take years to add to our family as it took 3+ years to have our daughter, but I guess once your body knows how to do it it’s a little more prepared! ha. We are due early April.

This pregnancy I think will FLY by as I’m already into my second trimester and sometimes I even have to remind myself I’m pregnant because this pregnancy is sooo different from my last. Morning sickness (which consisted of just nausea) only lasted a couple of weeks. Fatigue is a real thing but I think that is probably more from having a very active toddler and no coffee (I miss my coffee in the mornings and I look forward to a venti iced americano as soon as I can get one).

The only drawback so far is that I’ve been battling a cold (stuffy nose, clogged ears, frustrating cough) for almost 2 months now with little relief. I don’t know what it feels like to breath out of my nose it’s been so long. If anyone who may be reading this I’m open to anything that may help with it… I’m so over it!

I’m sure many of my upcoming posts will be about our upcoming arrival and how we are planning for him/her.

Health & Fitness Update:

I am still trying to make it to the gym as much as possible. I was going 5-6 days a week prior to getting pregnant but have backed down to 3-4 days a week. Being sick hasn’t helped and the morning sickness stopped me for a while. My focus this pregnancy is to go regularly as I just stopped going during my last pregnancy. My daughter actually goes to the kids room and enjoys it most days so that helps a lot with staying on a regular schedule.

With being pregnant I’m not trying to lose weight, max out new 1RM; but I’m focusing on maintaining the lifestyle and stay healthy throughout pregnancy so that hopefully after the baby is born it won’t be a hard transition back into like it was last time.

My workouts these days last about 45 minutes and I typically burn 250-400 calories per session. In comparison, before pregnancy my workouts took about an hour or so and was burning minimum of 500 calories per session.

Once I can get back to the more intense workouts I will work back to my old 1RM with my bench (150#), squat(235#), and deadlift(225#). Looking forward to getting back.

I think all of the above updates on all the major aspects of what has been going on. I hope to dedicate at least 1 day a week to take the time to write and get back on track with things that I’ve been wanting to do/write.

 

 

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7 years ago today!

It is crazy to believe that 7 years ago today I met my husband. It’s even crazier to sit and think about everything that has happened 7 years. I don’t know if it is normal but the older I get the faster time seems to go by. The past 7 years have not been easy but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Thinking about this milestone just got me thinking about life, and time in general.

I remember being in younger thinking about when I got older, married, and had children of my own; I used to look at people (who I am now) and wonder what life was like as an adult. It doesn’t seem like that long ago yet it does. It’s bittersweet really. Now I look at younger people (who I used to be) and think that I hope they are enjoying their youth and all that is in front of them. As much as I wish I could go back in time I am also very content being 30, married, with a child of my own.

If you have every sat back and really thought about this journey that we are all on called life; it’s just crazy. We are constantly looking and dreaming of tomorrow and what the future holds. We reminiscence and long to revisit moments and experiences from our younger years. How often though do we just appreciate the now? That’s very very hard to do. Every day I talk with people about yesterdays and tomorrows; not as much of today though! I would like to do that more… appreciate the moment!

I’m so glad my plans changed 7 years ago and I went to that local bar and made eye contact with an attractive man. I’m glad he came up to talk to me. I’m glad I gave him my number. I’m glad he called. I’m glad I moved away from home to be closer to him. I’m glad he asked for my hand in marriage. I’m glad we got married. What I’m most happy about is having our daughter!

I know in comparison to some 7 years isn’t that long but for us it’s the longest relationship we’ve had. I’m looking forward to see what happens in the next 7 years!

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Opposites Attract

Being a good wife is hard. I think we are all good at many things. We all juggle multiple things a day and wear many hats so were bound to be good at some, maybe even a lot of things. I wish I could pick the things I’m good at. I mean I know you can always work on certain aspects and things but it’s so hard to remember that during the day. I mean I’m a mother, wife, daughter, sister, Dog mommy (that’s a real thing), cleaner of the house, home chef, etc…how can I remember everything I want to change/improve? And being a good wife should be easy, right? 

I made a post around New year’s that I wanted to focus on being a better wife and sometimes I don’t know if I’m doing any better. Let me start off by saying I love my husband. Love him so very much. He’s my best friend. Now that I’ve stated that…. He can drive me absolutely bonkers. I mean bat shit crazy. We’re very different. The saying opposites attract couldn’t be a more accurate description of us. I grew up in the suburbs, him the country. I am a homebody, he can’t sit still (for more than a few minutes I swear). I’m all about family and spending every moment with them, he is very career focused.

We bicker about everything like a couple that’s been married for 50 years. To the outside world they probably think we don’t like each other half the time, but it’s all in fun.

The biggest difference between us I’d that I’m a planner, organizer, more serious person (I don’t think I’m very fun because I’m always thinking about the next thing or the consequences/results). He’s laid back, non planner, non organizer, and not serious about anything. There is nothing more frustrating than a serious person communicating with the jokester. I can get so frustrated about something and then he’ll do/say something funny and I’ll laugh. “See, you’re not upset” that”s the next thing off his tongue. O. M. G. Soooo not the case!!!

After the day is done or he leaves for work I kick myself because I know I should be able to laugh about what he says or does. “Why did I get so frustrated about something so dumb? Why couldn’t I just relax?” Why is it that as soon as he leaves or I’m falling asleep I can let it go but when I’m face to face with him I can’t? How can I remember in the moment not to flip out on him?

The question I really want to ask is why can’t he just realize I’m like this and not drive me crazy? That would’ve easy because I wouldn’t have to change anything. Ha! Oh well a girl can dream. Seriously though, I know it would take both of us to be aware and in the moment.

I don’t think I’m a bad wife but I definitely want to be better. Tomorrow’s a new day and another day to try!

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Good Mom; Bad Wife!?!?!

The baby honeymoon has ended in my household over the last several months and I’m just coming to realize it.

When I delivered my daughter I saw a side of my husband I simply didn’t know existed. He was amazing while I was in the hospital. I ended up needing a c-section so I was limited on what I could do those first few days. My husband did everything, without complaint. He took care of me when I had to get up, showering, basically anything that involved me standing up or bending over. He changed diapers, held our daughter as she slept, helped me figure out how to nurse her. Even when he could sleep he didn’t because he was constantly checking on our daughter. He also had to come home periodically to take care of my two dogs.

He had tears in his eyes everyday that week. He said when he would run home he would cry leaving us. I was in complete awe of this man. I never knew of this man and I fell in love with him all over again.

……..

Now fast forward to today. He leaves an empty bag on the table (when the trash can is right next to him), he will hand me something to put I the dirty cloths bin when he is in the same room as the laundry, he hasn’t cooked a meal in I don’t know how long, or cleaned anything. This was the man I was used to.

Now since I stay at home I have no problem cooking, doing laundry, cleaning. You’ll probably think I’m weird but I actually enjoy this work. I’m a little OCD so cleaning is therapeutic to me. I don’t ask him nor expect him to take care of all these things. Somehow, I feel like I’m a bad wife now that I’ve become a mother.

I am pretty obsessed with my daughter and I absolutely love being a mother. Even through screaming fits, sleepless nights, teething, EVERYTHING, I love being a mom. I think I’m a good mother. I don’t mean to brag or boast, I just feel comfortable with being a mother… It feels natural, so I feel like I give her my best.

At the same time, while I’m being a good mother I’m also being a bad wife because I’m constantly getting aggravated by my husband. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to let my opinions fly out of my mouth whether I want them to or not… Even when I know I should just keep my mouth shut…I don’t listen. Therefore, I let my husband know I’m aggravated, and do so often.

I don’t even know why I get so aggravated by him. He hasn’t changed. But then maybe I have. As soon as I give him a piece of my mind I immediately want to rewind time and not say anything. Sometimes I get aggravated because I’m aggravated and I know there isn’t a good reason to be, which is really upsetting. Yet, I am too prideful to admit that to him so I just go along and stay annoyed. I guess the best way to explain it is that I feel like I’m at the peak of PMS and literally the sound of someone breathing ticks you off and you know it’s dumb to be this annoyed but you don’t care you’re annoyed nonetheless (sorry men, I know you can’t relate to that one).

I love my husband more then I could ever explain. Forever simply isn’t long enough for us to be together. I’m so lucky to have a daughter with him. I’m sooooo thankful he has given me the opportunity to stay home with our daughter. I love my life. I feel bad that sometimes I act so unappreciative for everything I have, but I don’t know how to not get annoyed with some of the things he does (or doesn’t do).

I’m sure it doesn’t help that we are both very sarcastic people and have used our dry sense of humor in our relationship since the beginning. I think that isn’t working anymore and it’s taking some adjustment. I’m also the person who will keep a lot of my real feelings in and not want to talk about them until I understand them and he always wants everything to be okay all the time. As you can imagine, that combination doesn’t quite work well together sometimes.

I want to work on not only being a good mother but also a better wife. My husband and I are the best of friends and our love is so comfortable. I think we just need to figure out how to be husband/wife AND daddy/mommy at the same time.