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Our Favorite Christmas Holiday to Date!

Another Christmas is in the books and it was one to remember for sure. This was the first Christmas where Carolina recognized Santa and began to understand more and more about the holiday! She loved seeing my parents and having daddy home so much for the holiday! Lots of people to play with!

Everything was Elsa and Anna! Her favorite gifts were the Frozen snow globe my parents got her that sings ‘Let It Go’ (loudly may I add) I think we’ve heard it at least a million times already. Fortunately, I have found that if I tell her something needs to charge then her world doesn’t end when we don’t play with/use it for a while. Her other favorite gift was her Elsa barbie doll. It was the last gift I picked up for her because I figured she has all the other Princess barbie dolls she just needed the Elsa one too. Of course she keeps looking for Anna; (should have known that was important since they are always together). Every time she plays with the doll or snow globe she has to watch Frozen, or what she calls ‘Let It Go’. She got some great things this year, more of ‘big girl’ toys. She got a Minnie Mouse kitchen with accessories, a Nursery station so she can take care of her baby while mommy takes care of her sister in a few months. She also got an art table that has a white board and table to color on with storage. She has already used it many times. Her other gifts included play doh, coloring books, clothes, books, and smaller tinker type toys.

I also had a pretty good Christmas as well. I got a pregnancy massage that I can’t wait to use. A lot of kitchen accessories, which I LOVE!

It’s always sad when Christmas is over and this year is especially bittersweet because it will be the last Christmas with it being just the three of us! I can’t wait to bring home her sister and be a family of four but part of me is a little sad that Carolina will have to share/split the attention with her sister from now on. As sad as I am about the holiday season being over I have been a little distracted because Carolina came down with a fever Saturday night and some congestion. She’s a trooper and it didn’t seem to damper her Christmas. Took her to the dr yesterday and she has a left ear infection as well as a respiratory virus (that seems like everyone has right now). I feel like I’m counting down the minutes until I come down with it next. Fortunately, the dr gave her some medicine so I’m hoping in a day or two she’ll start to feel better.

As 2016 comes to a close I feel blessed that my family has been able to have more highs than lows and that we are all very excited to see what 2017 has in store (particularly in April when our second daughter is due to make her arrival)!

 

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Where did I go?…. excuses & announcements!

Holy smokes! What a year it has been since my last post. It’s hard to believe it’s basically been that long.

So much has happened and changed since I last wrote anything I don’t know if I can update on everything or just start over and go from there.

I’ll try to give the cliff notes version of what has happened and updates on past year.Basically why I mainly disappeared is that both of our laptops took a crap about a week apart from each other. I tried using our iPad and iPhone but typing like that was just unbelievably difficult for me to do (I know the whole world uses them but I’m still an old-fashioned Windows kind of girl), I prefer typing on a keyboard. The other reason for not keeping up with things is because well my daughter keeps me busy and I got lazy (the MAIN reason). 1 nap a day is sometimes not enough time for me to take mommy time.

Who would have guess fixing 1 of our laptops was as easy as exchanging the batteries since one of them was junk. I, embarrassingly, thought about exchanging the batteries today for the first time…why are the simplest tasks somehow take the longest to complete or think of.

Anyways, here I am. I hope to do a better job finishing up 2016 into 2017 with writing more. I enjoy it. Even though I don’t think I have that much talent when writing or organizing my thoughts. I find my mind just bouncing around thoughts and ideas; my posts may be hard to follow or not flow from one to another.

Family Update #1: My Daughter

My last post I mentioned my daughter was around 12 months old and entering the ‘terrible two’ stage. Well,now she is almost 2 1/2 and even more sassy; except now she can use her words more which I’m not sure is better or worse than just fussing. I still try to pick my battles but I feel like she picks a battle with me about EVERYTHING! Mothers should be able to get an injection of patience because I need TONS more than what I have currently. She’s outspoken, full of energy, thinks she is so independent regarding everything…. and she’s absolutely beautiful and I couldn’t possibly love anyone more than I do her.

I wish I would have kept up with writing over the past year because she has grown so much and as I’m writing this I find myself disappointed that I let that time slip by without jotting down my thoughts and memories. Her 2nd birthday was such a great day; she LOVED her Minnie party. We took so many trips to our local zoo where she was able to do more and more with each visit. All the family visits we had… I wish I would have written about those to look back on later. Maybe I can write future posts allowing myself to reminisce about those events.

Family Update #2: We’re growing!

As much as I hope to do a better job with writing in 2017 I’m not sure I’ll be so great at it as we found out in late July that we are expecting our 2nd baby! We are beyond thrilled (and slightly terrified) about the news!

I think my husband and I figured it would take years to add to our family as it took 3+ years to have our daughter, but I guess once your body knows how to do it it’s a little more prepared! ha. We are due early April.

This pregnancy I think will FLY by as I’m already into my second trimester and sometimes I even have to remind myself I’m pregnant because this pregnancy is sooo different from my last. Morning sickness (which consisted of just nausea) only lasted a couple of weeks. Fatigue is a real thing but I think that is probably more from having a very active toddler and no coffee (I miss my coffee in the mornings and I look forward to a venti iced americano as soon as I can get one).

The only drawback so far is that I’ve been battling a cold (stuffy nose, clogged ears, frustrating cough) for almost 2 months now with little relief. I don’t know what it feels like to breath out of my nose it’s been so long. If anyone who may be reading this I’m open to anything that may help with it… I’m so over it!

I’m sure many of my upcoming posts will be about our upcoming arrival and how we are planning for him/her.

Health & Fitness Update:

I am still trying to make it to the gym as much as possible. I was going 5-6 days a week prior to getting pregnant but have backed down to 3-4 days a week. Being sick hasn’t helped and the morning sickness stopped me for a while. My focus this pregnancy is to go regularly as I just stopped going during my last pregnancy. My daughter actually goes to the kids room and enjoys it most days so that helps a lot with staying on a regular schedule.

With being pregnant I’m not trying to lose weight, max out new 1RM; but I’m focusing on maintaining the lifestyle and stay healthy throughout pregnancy so that hopefully after the baby is born it won’t be a hard transition back into like it was last time.

My workouts these days last about 45 minutes and I typically burn 250-400 calories per session. In comparison, before pregnancy my workouts took about an hour or so and was burning minimum of 500 calories per session.

Once I can get back to the more intense workouts I will work back to my old 1RM with my bench (150#), squat(235#), and deadlift(225#). Looking forward to getting back.

I think all of the above updates on all the major aspects of what has been going on. I hope to dedicate at least 1 day a week to take the time to write and get back on track with things that I’ve been wanting to do/write.

 

 

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7 years ago today!

It is crazy to believe that 7 years ago today I met my husband. It’s even crazier to sit and think about everything that has happened 7 years. I don’t know if it is normal but the older I get the faster time seems to go by. The past 7 years have not been easy but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Thinking about this milestone just got me thinking about life, and time in general.

I remember being in younger thinking about when I got older, married, and had children of my own; I used to look at people (who I am now) and wonder what life was like as an adult. It doesn’t seem like that long ago yet it does. It’s bittersweet really. Now I look at younger people (who I used to be) and think that I hope they are enjoying their youth and all that is in front of them. As much as I wish I could go back in time I am also very content being 30, married, with a child of my own.

If you have every sat back and really thought about this journey that we are all on called life; it’s just crazy. We are constantly looking and dreaming of tomorrow and what the future holds. We reminiscence and long to revisit moments and experiences from our younger years. How often though do we just appreciate the now? That’s very very hard to do. Every day I talk with people about yesterdays and tomorrows; not as much of today though! I would like to do that more… appreciate the moment!

I’m so glad my plans changed 7 years ago and I went to that local bar and made eye contact with an attractive man. I’m glad he came up to talk to me. I’m glad I gave him my number. I’m glad he called. I’m glad I moved away from home to be closer to him. I’m glad he asked for my hand in marriage. I’m glad we got married. What I’m most happy about is having our daughter!

I know in comparison to some 7 years isn’t that long but for us it’s the longest relationship we’ve had. I’m looking forward to see what happens in the next 7 years!

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The Gift

It’s that time of year when I get sucked into Lifetime and Hallmark’s holiday movies. I re-watch all my favorites as well as look forward to the new ones. This year is different from previous ones because it is as if I’m watching the movies through a new pair of eyes… the eyes of a mother. Most of the time this fact is a wonderful one and gets me so excited about the holidays and the traditions that my family will have. Unfortunately, the movies that aren’t so fun to watch are the sad stories about losing a loved one or even worse a sick child. I can cry just reading the descriptions of the movies. I never thought about those events before becoming a mother, so watching it unfold on tv it gives you that image that you don’t want to imagine.

There was a movie on today called ‘The Ultimate Gift’. It was about how this man is forced to complete 12 life-changing tasks before he can receive his inheritance from his rich grandfather that recently died. In the middle of him completing these tasks he befriends a young girl with leukemia and her mother who is dealing with all that having a sick child entails. I know that this is a movie and these are characters played by actors but I’m aware that somewhere, there is a family experiencing these struggles for real; and that breaks my heart completely. I can’t imagine the pain involved. I can’t imagine the strength that these children have to face such horrible illnesses. I can’t imagine the strength of the parents to keep a smile on their face for their child and possibly more children at home. I can’t imagine being the medical staff having to share such difficult news. I don’t know if I would be that strong faced with these situations and I hope I never have to find out.

This story line hits close to home but not in the way you would think. I never got to meet my husbands sister who battled her own illness. I don’t know the whole story as this is ( and understandably so) still hard for my husband to talk about. I would never want to cause or remind him of this pain by asking questions. Throughout our relationship I have learned bits and pieces about her; her amazing strength; and the life she had from him, his parents, and other relatives. My husband constantly thinks about our daughter and he will ask me constantly if she is napping or even really quiet if she is okay. I go and check in; to ease his mind. Part of me thinks this is in part of what he went through when he was younger. At first, I didn’t understand why he was so adamant about checking. The first week she was born and after we brought her home he would ask me “is she still breathing” every time she was sleeping. It later dawned on me what could be making him so worried; from then on I don’t make a big deal about it… I just go in and check. It takes a couple seconds to do.

While watching this movie I’m reminded of a gift that we received after my daughter was born. It’ll be a moment I hope I never forget. As I’ve mentioned before my daughter was born on May 27th @ 8:32am. She was the first girl born that day… Actually the first baby that day. A few hours after she was born there was a knock on our door; a nurse entered with a gift bag. At first I thought maybe a family or friend stopped by but that wasn’t the case. The nurse explained that a lady stopped by earlier with this gift for the first girl born on May 27th. She didn’t leave a name. I opened the gift and inside was a beautiful little dress outfit and a card.

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My mom read the card. My mom explained that 17 years ago she delivered twins (boy & girl) on May 27th. Sadly,her daughter didn’t make it and for the past 17 years she always drops off a gift to be given to the first girl born on May 27th. What a moving way to honor her daughter. I was so touched by her story but I was so emotional from everything I wasn’t quite ready to read her words in that card just yet. I finally read the card after I got home from the hospital. It was touching; I cried and hugged my daughter extra tight. I can’t imagine her pain. My daughter has wore this out quite a few times and each time I put it on her I think of that women and her words. I always give my daughter one more extra hug.

I’ll never get rid of that dress. I’ll always hold that moment dear to my heart.

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I made a human…. WHAT?!?!

As I rocked my baby before I put her to bed something hit me like a ton of bricks. I made her! Every inch of her, every part of her being, I made her (with a little help from her daddy). I carried her inside of me. She never existed before and there will never be no one else like her. Even as I typed that last sentence it amazes me how true that is. How incredible is that? I certainly did something right! I’m so in love with her!

from our walk today!

I mean I knew I was pregnant and I know what happens when a female is pregnant; I’ve seen the movie ‘The Miracle of Life’ which was made in the early 80s. I think all I really took away from it was the ‘fashion’ (if you can call it that) the adults were wearing… oh my! You know you agree with this. I think during my whole pregnancy it was never real to me. I guess I thought I’d just go to the hospital the doctor would come in, I’d deliver, and from around the corner my baby would appear. You know the stork carries the baby to the hospital room. HA! Seriously though, it amazes me what the female body can do. What we are capable of. How beautiful. I kind of want to be pregnant again, and again, and again. Okay I’m not sure about 3 more times… but definitely again.

All of this made me think of a quote I’ve read probably a thousand times when I was pregnant; “No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you’re the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.” I remember thinking ‘aww, how cute’. It was just this sweet saying but I didn’t understand the full meaning until the days since she was born. Her and I have this bond that no one else can have, take, understand. How special. It truly is an honor that I got to be this little girls mom. I hope there is never a day that she questions my love for her. I hope I can set the foundation where she always feels at ease in communicating whatever life is throwing at her. I’m here for her. I’m not her friend.. (yet), I am her mother. We may not always agree and to be honest like each other but I’ll always have an ear to listen to her stories, a shoulder for her to cry on, and a hand to help her up if she ever falls. I will always love her.

no-one-else-will-ever-know-the-strength-of-my-love-for-youafter-allyoure-the-only-one-who-knows-what-my-heart-sounds-like-from-the-inside-kindness-quote

I have also noticed that when I get overwhelmed with emotions about my daughter, I always think about my mother and all she did for us. I wish there was a way I could have known then what I know now; I would have expressed my gratitude with her more back then. As many teenage daughters and mothers disagree; we had some rough years. I wish I could take those back. I now understand why my mom did what she did, said what she said. (Let’s not tell her that 🙂 but I get it…thanks mom).

There hasn’t been a day gone by that when I feel so much love and emotions for my own daughter that I also don’t feel such appreciation for my own mom. Her and I have the same bond my daughter and I have. You always hear about Fathers and Daughters… I say lets also make Mothers and Daughters worth talking about! 🙂 4734100_f520Amen!!

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It’s the little things!

I just noticed I have not written about such a huge day in my daughters development. I definitely want to remember these memories. On Tuesday I was eating my dinner and had her sitting in her bumbo chair in front of me. I noticed she was sticking her tongue out; which is one of her favorite things to do. It’s hilarious! I hope she keeps this fun personality as she gets older. Anyways, she was sticking out her tongue a little differently this time (ha, who knew there were so many ways to stick out ones’ tongue). It almost looked like she was struggling so I was watching carefully and all of a sudden she blew a raspberry. It was the funniest and cutest thing I had seen so far. I watched her figure out how to make the noise come out. I was so proud and glad that I got to witness her figure something out.

Like any mom I grabbed my phone to get it on video to share with my husband and my parents. And….. very typical her she just wanted to look at herself in the phone and wouldn’t do make the noise again. Eventually after making the noise myself about a million times she did it…. and I got it on camera! SCORE!!!! I could now delete the 30 videos of just me making the noise and her looking at me like I’ve lost my mind (which is still up for debate).

After I ate I took her into our bedroom to play on our bed, she likes to look in the mirror and watch the ceiling fan spin around. She was blowing raspberries non stop… (of course no camera filming her to distract her). I facetime my mom and she continued to blow raspberries. My mom and I were in tears laughing at her because she was really pushing to get that face out. I’ve seen faces like these before but for VERY different and stinky reasons. I loved this moment and I wish it could have lasted forever.

All of sudden just when I thought the new milestones were through for the day she turned over from laying on her back to her stomach. Up to this point she could only roll over from stomach to back (which makes me nervous still because she still hasn’t grasped her arm cannot be directly out to the side of the direction she is trying to roll over; I’m so nervous she will hurt herself). It was special that my mom got to witness it as she doesn’t live near. I yelled for joy and she could tell I was happy because she was just smiling and happy as a clam.

Oh what a beautiful day and a memory I hope I never forget!

I saw a picture online today that reminded me of it: “Sometimes the littlest things take up the most room on our hearts”. Oh this couldn’t be more true if you are talking about a baby. This is just another reminder that I made the best decision to be at home to see her grow.

Proud mommy!!

It's not what you think.... just blowing raspberries!!!

It’s not what you think…. just blowing raspberries!!!

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Life’s journey

Overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions as I rock my baby in my childhood room.

I remember sitting in my room looking out my window just wondering where my life would take me. It doesn’t seem like that long ago yet it seems like it’s been forever. It is just an extremely emotional thing looking out the same window I did as a child and teenager so many nights but now as a married woman with my baby in my arms.

I remember wondering who I would eventually marry. Would he be someone I went to school with, college? I remember wondering what I would do for a profession? Where would I live? Would I have children? Would I find happiness?

I also remember feeling like I would never grow up. Why does time seem to move so slow as a child and teenager yet moves at lightning speed as an adult. I wish life would slow down now so I could have so much more time with those I love so much.

I don’t know if anyone else has had the opportunity to experience that moment for themselves but it’s amazing.

I wish there was a way to go back in time and tell myself that everything would work out beautifully. That your husband is incredible, hard working, loyal, funny, just a great friend above all. I would tell myself not to overly stress about work. Life is just too short and spend extra time with granny while she’s alive. I would tell myself that your daughter will be the most amazing thing that will ever happen to you!

But I guess if I knew then what I do now I don’t know if I’d be able to appreciate my life like I do.

I love evenings like this. I like coming back home… It reminds me how far I’ve come. It also helps me remember who I was and I appreciate that just as much.

I am truly blessed!!